Who Am I?

May 2nd, 2010

“I don’t know who I am.” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that from clients over the past year. “I just don’t know who I am any more.” How many times have you felt that way? How often have you sat and contemplated and meditated and journaled and questioned, “Who am I?”

I have another question for you, several, in fact. What is it that you do not know? What is it about yourself that you feel you need to name? How would you live differently if you “knew yourself”?

Here’s another question. What are you not doing because you don’t “know who you are”? Which leads to yet another question. Do you think you can ever truly know who you are? Every moment you live, every decision you make, every decision you don’t make, leads you to the next moment, and the next, and the next. And with each moment, there are new experiences, new opportunities, new possibilities, that lead you to the next choice, the next step. And with each moment, with each step, with each choice, your life changes irrevocably. Can you not, then, assume that who you are changes too? So with each moment, your life changes and you change. How, then, can you ever “know who you are” when you are constantly changing and shifting from one moment, one decision, one step, to the next.

What is it that you need to know about yourself before you can embrace the beauty and wonder and color of life? What do you need to know about yourself before you can feel what is stirring within you? In each moment, can you find that place within that is aware of how you feel, of what you desire, of what is calling to you? In that moment? Can you open to the magic that exists around you, in that moment?

If you ask me who I am, I will answer this: It is an unanswerable question. Who I am cannot be known. I simply am. And I am engaged in life every moment, unconcerned that I do not have an answer to “who am I?”.

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” – Dr. Seuss

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Love Yourself, Value Yourself

April 3rd, 2010

I had an interesting conversation with someone not too long ago, a young man I’d never met before who had come into Crystal Way. He wanted a tarot reading, and asked how much it would cost. I explained the duration and cost of readings I offered, but he wasn’t happy with my fee schedule. Instead, he said, he preferred to have the reading and then afterward pay me what he felt the reading was worth. He should be able to determine the length of the reading, as well.

I found that response to be quite interesting, as I hadn’t mentioned that I work on a donation basis, so I pursued the conversation. “Are you asking me to let you tell me how much my reading is worth? You would like to be the one to place a value on me?” He smiled and nodded yes. It was “more spiritual” that way, he explained; I was pretty sure he thought that would appeal to my “spiritual” side and I’d see the error of my ways. I explained to him that I did not work that way, thanked him, and walked away.

But that conversation got me thinking. How interesting that this stranger wanted to be the one to decide what my work was worth, and by extension what I was worth. This is something that I talk about in depth in my Reiki I class, and it feels important to share that discussion with you. Let me set a quick foundation first.

In the Level I Reiki class, we focus on the ways in which we create disease in the body. As part of that focus, we discuss the role that our seven main chakras play in the manifestation of disease; if our chakras are blocked, our chi, or life force energy, cannot flow smoothly, causing stagnation of energy in the body, causing disease. Our 5th chakra, the throat chakra, is our communication chakra. It is not just about speaking, it is about speaking our truth, speaking what comes from our core, that center of authenticity. It is the willingness to say what is in our hearts, even at the risk of rejection.

That risk of rejection is the reason why so many people don’t speak their truth. They are afraid of losing what they have, of what they’ve created. They are afraid of being judged, of not being accepted, of not being loved. This fear of rejection causes people to try to please everyone else, even if it means not speaking the truth, in order to be accepted and loved. They begin to see themselves, to value themselves, through the standards and judgments and opinions of others. It triggers their lack of self-love, their belief they are not worthy of being loved. Their self-worth is reliant upon what someone else thinks of them, and that opinion can and will change continually depending upon how the other person feels in any given moment. How can anyone know their true worth, their true value, when it shifts moment to moment, person to person?

A different outcome to my interaction with the young man in the store could have been that I acquiesced to his request. I could have been afraid of losing a potential client; I could have questioned whether I was being “spiritual” or not; I could have doubted my fee schedule; I could have let him determine what my worth was. Perhaps I might have done so at one time; like many people I’ve had my own challenges with self-love.

And while I may, as many people do, face my shadow of self-love on occasion, it seldom has control over me (I still love myself even when the call of chocolate becomes much too loud to ignore and I overindulge!). Especially when it comes to my work; I do not need the approval or validation of anyone else to know the value of what I do. I did not even for a moment consider accepting the conditions this young man had wanted to place on a reading, but did appreciate the opportunity he presented to revisit this issue of self-worth and self-love.

Do you still struggle with your shadows of self-worth and self-love? Call me to schedule an appointment, and let’s face, and resolve, those shadows together!

“Imagine when you look in the mirror that the face looking back at you is someone you truly love. Just imagine.” – Isha Judd

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The Wrapping Or The Gift?

February 16th, 2010

I had to laugh when I heard many of the responses to the Protandim email I sent out a few weeks ago, because it was the exact same reaction I had when my friend D approached me with the idea: “Direct marketing? Are you kidding? No way!” I barely gave her a chance to tell me about the product; I had my mind closed to it from the get-go.

That response, though, didn’t set well with me. It bothered me, and I didn’t know why. It stayed with me, nagging at me, asking me to look deeper. So of course I did; I reached for my tarot cards in order to get the clarity I needed around this.

The first card I pulled, using the DruidCraft deck, was the 8 of Swords. Yes, ever since the manuscript for my tarot workbook was completed and sent off to Llewellyn Publishing (and it could be another 3 months before I know if they want it or not) I have been feeling a bit in a rut, wanting something new to focus my intention and attention on. I had no idea what that was, and the next card, the Ace of Wands, reminded me that I had asked the Universe to bring me the next project. And the Universe responded, as it usually does. Here came D, and what did I do? My Queen of Swords aspect threw that sword up and said, “No, that’s NOT how I want it to look!”

There were no major arcana in those first three cards I pulled, this wasn’t some deep lesson I had to learn. This was a gentle reminder of something I knew on every level but had simply let my “stuckness” blur; it was one of those “oh, d’uh” moments. Yes, I have them too! What was the reminder? When you ask the Universe for something, it’s usually best not to toss it back without taking a good, close look at it first.

Which the Ace of Swords encouraged me to do, only this time with a clear mind and unprejudiced eyes. I looked at D, and saw a friend of great integrity and strong ethics; I looked at the product and liked what I saw. Did the vehicle matter? No, upon this second look I realized that it didn’t. And the final card, the Knight of Cups, told me to take this project and move forward with it, focusing on what I loved about the gift (the product) and letting go of the wrapping (direct marketing). I had asked the Universe, it had answered. How simple!

Is there something in your life you are judging by the wrapping rather than the gift? Have you asked for guidance but turned from the answer because it did not take the form you wanted? Perhaps it’s time to take a second look.

When the solution is simple, God is answering. – Albert Einstein

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Introducing Protandim!

February 9th, 2010

As a Reiki Master/Teacher and Practitioner, I am always on the lookout for new ways to enhance my clients’ health. That’s why I’m so excited about an herbal supplement called Protandim. Why am I so excited about Protandim? It’s the only product on the market that’s been clinically proven to reduce oxidative stress by an average of 40%!*

Yep, I thought the same thing you’re probably thinking. “So what?” Well, oxidative stress is the damage done to our bodies by free radicals, those organic molecules created by environmental factors such as pollution, radiation, cigarette smoke, and herbicides, as well as physical and emotional stress. Now, the resulting oxidative stress doesn’t cause disease, but it does give disease a foothold in the body and, the older we get, the more difficult it is for our bodies to combat the oxidative load. Protandim slows down the rate of cell aging to the level of a 20-year-old!*

Some of the conditions linked to oxidative stress are:

     • Age-related physical and mental deterioration (e.g., Alzheimer’s)
     • Age-related vision loss 
     • Alcoholism
     • Arthritis
     • Cancer (e.g., prostate, lung, and breast cancers)
     • Crohn’s disease
     • Diabetes
     • Glaucoma
     • Heart disease
     • Hepatitis
     • High cholesterol
     • HIV/AIDS
     • Infertility
     • Memory loss
     • Migraine headaches

And the list goes on. For a more extensive list of the conditions linked to oxidative stress, please click here.

I can hear your next question: “Why can’t I just eat foods rich in antioxidants and take antioxidant supplements like Vitamins C and E?” You can, but not in enough quantities to equal what you get with Protandim, which isn’t really an antioxidant anyway. Protandim triggers your body’s cells to produce its own natural defenses, boosting the body’s production of antioxidant enzymes at the cellular level and eliminating free radicals at the amazing rate of one million per second! No foods or vitamins can do that!

Since Alzheimer’s runs in my family, as does cancer and glaucoma, and my aging joints creak and grind more and more each day, I personally am very excited about Protandim and have started to take it myself. I understand fully that this supplement will not cure disease. I am also aware that it will assist my body to maintain optimum health, and that’s what I hope to do. In fact, in just a little over one week, I’m noticing that my tricky right knee hasn’t given out on me nearly as often, and the pain in my right arm from tendonitis has diminished by at least 50%. Can’t wait to see how I feel after a month or two! And, it will be interesting to see at my next eye exam if the pressure in my eyes has lowered (higher pressure, which I have, means greater risk of glaucoma).
 
Talk-show host Montel Williams, who suffers from MS, has been taking Protandim for several years, and has said that Protandim is an integral part of the daily routine he follows. For a couple of testimonials on YouTube, click here and here. Also, keep in mind that everyone responds differently to this supplement. If you’re in good health, you may not feel any different at all after taking Protandim. But you’ll know that you’re keeping your body healthy and strong and in optimum physical condition.

As a matter of fact, I’m so enamored of Protandim that I’m not only taking it, but I have decided to become a distributor of this product. I bet you knew THAT was coming, didn’t you!

If I’ve piqued your curiosity and you want to know a bit more about Protandim, go here to watch an ABC Primetime Special on Protandim and here to view a report on Protandim on the PBS show Healing Quest.

If, after watching the testimonials and the ABC and PBS specials, you’d like more information before you decide to become a customer, or if you’d like to find out about becoming a distributor yourself, let me know. My “teammates” Thomas (Tom) Day and Deanna Washington, the Protandim experts, will be happy to meet with you and answer all your questions. Yes, they’ll even travel out of the San Francisco area, so whether you’re in Sacramento, Los Angeles, or Timbuktu, they’ll come to you!

I’d like to ask a favor. Even if you aren’t interested in Protandim, I’d like you to share this blog with someone you know who might benefit from this supplement. Do you have a relative, friend, or colleague who has Heart Disease? Diabetes? Hepatitis? HIV/AIDS? Arthritis? Or any other condition that is linked to oxidative stress? Do them a favor and send them to this blog. If they have any questions I would love for them to contact me directly.

Thanks so much for your time, and I wish you a healthy, happy, and prosperous 2010.

 
 
 
*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.

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Money & Love in 2010

January 4th, 2010

Welcome to 2010! A new year, a new beginning, a new opportunity to let go of old patterns and behaviors and beliefs that no longer serve you and open up to a new, authentic, way of living.

2009 was for most people a very challenging year, both personally and professionally. In my role as an Intuitive Consultant, the two biggest issues clients ask about are love and money. Are you finding your relationships shifting and changing? Are you facing concerns about finances? What can you do to facilitate your way through these shifts and concerns?

Life is about change. If you aren’t changing, you’re remaining stagnant. Our relationships often reflect the changes we go through. Some relationships can change and grow with us, and some relationships we grow out of. Where are you holding on to old relationships that no longer support who you have become? Are you still in relationships that do not give you the space and support to reach for the unlimited possibilities that exist for you? Are you keeping yourself small to fit into your current relationship? As you change, doesn’t it seem appropriate that your relationships change, as well? This holds true for all our relationships – family, friends, and lovers. Discover who you are, how you want relationship to make you feel, where you will compromise and what is simply NOT negotiable, what your hopes and dreams are, and then look carefully to see if your relationships support all of who you are at this moment.

If your major concern is about money, look at where you are creating limitation. I personally know people who are doing quite well, even in this economy. Why? They are allowing themselves to “course correct” with the way they earn income. Rather than trying to do the same thing, and getting upset that it isn’t working, they are looking at what the market needs, what people ARE spending money on, and altering the way they do business to fit what the market needs.

Also, become more conscious about your spending. Where is your money going? Are you holding so tightly to what you have that nothing is going out, which also means nothing can find its way in? Or are you spending unconsciously, having no idea where your money is going. I had one client who came in a while ago, moaning about how he so wanted to take my previous Reiki I class, but just didn’t have the money. We looked at where his money had gone, and he was shocked to discover how it had been spent. He realized that with a little consciousness, he could have easily afforded the class without denying himself a dinner out, a movie, or meeting friends at a bar. Be conscious about where your money is being spent, and make sure it’s being spent on that which you consider truly worthwhile in the long run, not just for the moment.

If you need assistance gaining clarity on either of these issues – money and love – perhaps it’s time to schedule a session with me!

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The Four Aces Spread

October 25th, 2009

I love when I find a new (for me) tarot spread that really excites me, and I was recently introduced to one via Mary K. Greer’s wonderful blog. It’s called the “Four Aces Spread”; for detailed information please visit here.

I would like to share with you the reading I did for a long-time client using this new spread. I used Ciro Marchetti’s Gilded Tarot deck (unfortunately, I can no longer find images posted on his website but you can see samples here).

The intent of my client’s reading (let’s call him John) was “Life Sphere”, a look at all areas of his life encompassing Work/Creativity, Love/Relationships, Problem-Solving, and Money/Security.

The cards were laid out as follows:

Row 1:
Ace/Wands (reversed), 7/Sword, King/Swords (reversed), and Queen/Wands (reversed)

Row 2:
Ace/Cups (reversed), The Devil, Strength (reversed), 8/Wands

Row 3:
Ace/Swords, 6/Swords, Queen/Pentacles (reversed), 3/Wands (reversed)

Row 4:
Ace/Pentacles, 4/Wands, The Lovers, 8/Swords (reversed)

(Before I share the reading, let me mention that I do read reverse cards, but a little differently than most readers. For me, reverse cards indicate an internal aspect, a need to focus on the energies of the card within, rather than outside, oneself. Eight of the cards in this reading were reversed, indicating to me a need for John to balance inner reflection with outer action.)

The Reading:
Row 1 let us know that the main focus for John’s attention and energies at the moment involve Work/Creativity. John feels that because he’s had to take on more of the decision-making aspects of his workplace (King/Swords), he’s not able to focus on what really stirs his passion and desire (Queen/Wands) and feels as if he’s not only not doing as good a job as he should be, but he’s having to leave behind at the moment what he truly wants to do (7/Swords).

Row 2 indicates the area of John’s life to which he’s not paying as much attention as he needs, which we see is Love/Relationships. The Devil (as the highest numbered Major Arcana in the entire spread it has much to say, which we’ll discuss in the summary) showing up with Strength, is an indication that John has some fears (Strength) about being in relationship and opening himself up to the pleasures and joys of life (The Devil). It’s time to move past this fear, and do it quickly! (8/Wands). Is it possible there’s a new relationship opportunity coming John’s way?

Row 3 offers us a glimpse into a way to resolve any conflict that exists between Work/Creativity and Love/Relationships. John can move beyond his fear of opening to a new relationship (6/Swords) and be open to something new manifesting in his life (3/Wands) by recognizing his ability to have both the work he wants and the relationship he dreams of (Queen/Pentacles). He needs to stop using his job as an excuse for not doing the necessary inner reflection around relationship fears.

Row 4 let’s us see what John may need to focus on in the future, and it does revolve around Money/Security. Interestingly enough, while money and security are the focus, there are no other pentacles in this row! We see a wand, a sword, and a major arcana. The Lovers card is not simply indicating a relationship may be coming in, but more importantly it’s asking John to get to the core of his feelings about being in a relationship: will it create a loving home that will make him feel secure (4/Wands) or will he feel trapped and stuck in his fears (8/Swords)?

The Summary:
There is a continuing theme through John’s reading, which has been a continuing theme throughout his life: the struggle between wands (his passion, his desire, his “fire in the belly”) and swords (thinking, analyzing, controlling). There is what he desires to do, and what he thinks he should do. John is not finding fulfillment in his work because he’s not spending enough time doing what he is passionate about. He agreed that it was time to sit down with his employer (who luckily is extremely supportive and encouraging) and look at ways in which he can bring more balance into his workplace to allow him the time and energy to explore his passions.

Once he does this, John realizes he can no longer use his unhappiness at work as an excuse to avoid looking at his fears around relationship. Here we look at The Devil (which I interpret a bit differently and which I recently wrote about on this blog site). John has had his heart broken in the past, as have most people at some time in their lives. For John, this has created a fear of opening his heart again, of allowing love to come tumbling in and take him on love’s wild journey through life, experiencing all the passions and pleasures and joys, as well as sorrows and griefs and tears, that are a part of love and life (The Devil). It’s time for John to face his shadows and fears around this issue, and he’s committed to doing so (a bit reluctantly, but once John commits to doing something he sticks to it!).

Part of that reflection involves gaining a clearer understanding of how a relationship will fit into his life. While he’s still in the process of creating balance in his work, and even at some point in the future considering leaving his current job to focus entirely on doing the work he is passionate about, is it right to bring a relationship into his life? Can he afford it? How secure will a relationship be if his work life is still, in his mind, unsettled? We continued to discuss these questions, and in so doing John was able to see that once again, he was using his (perceived) lacks of money and stability as excuses to avoid opening up to a relationship.

It is time for John to jump fully into life, with passion and joy and an open heart, and bring that fullness into his work life and his personal life. While John is a bit apprehensive about the inner work he needs to do, he also admitted he was beginning to feel that spark of excitement again. The smoldering ember is beginning to spark into flame!

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The Devil

September 28th, 2009

Once a month, I host a Tarot Salon, where readers of all levels of experience gather to share thoughts, ideas, concerns, and readings. Often, during meeting, a card will show up in a reading that elicits groans from the readers around the table, while at the same time you’ll hear me exclaim, “oh, I LOVE that card!”. I’ve been accused of loving all the cards, and I have to admit that’s true. (Like a parent with more than one child, I love all the cards equally, but differently.) Today, I’d like to talk about one of those cards I feel a special affinity for, one that I believe is often misunderstood, The Devil.

Traditionally, this card represents all that society holds as evil and base and unspoken; it’s about fears and superstitions and taboos. We see in the card graphic two people in chains standing before The Devil, held in bondage as The Devil himself sits above them. We see The Devil card and it scares us, being bound and chained in such a way. Yet, look more closely, and you’ll see that the chains around the necks of the couple in front of The Devil are loose enough to be easily removed. It is only their own fears of those so-called base instincts that keep them bound.

The Devil exists only in our minds, and only insofar as we have chosen to call it bad. We seem to be so busy trying to be “spiritual” beings that we’ve forgotten we are here to experience life as human beings, and in so doing we demonize our human side, our passionate, lustful, yearning, and yes, sometimes overindulgent side. In fact, I believe that much of what society tells us is “bad” is simply a big, bold, passionate indulgence for life!

I see The Devil as encouraging us to live life to the fullest, to live with passion and lust and to allow ourselves the pleasures of great food, great sex, great adventures, great everything. And while we need to live with consciousness, to notice where we fall into self-destructive, addictive, obsessive behaviors or patterns, we must embrace our shadow/devil in order to be fully whole.

If The Devil brings up fear in you, look to see where you fear your human side. Where do you fear the passions of life? Where are you holding back, not fully reveling in the joys of life? Where are you not letting life be messy and chaotic and spontaneous and noisy and full and big and wild? Or, perhaps, where are you overindulging to the point of no longer finding joy in your passions , but escape?

I love this card. Most parents won’t admit it, but there’s always that favorite child. The Devil is one of my favorites.

“One declaims endlessly against the passions; one imputes all of man’s suffering to them. One forgets that they are also the source of all his pleasures.” – Denis Diderot (French philosopher, art critic and writer)

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The Lady and her story

September 1st, 2009

Today, rather than share with you a reading I’ve given, I thought it might be a nice change of pace for you to create your own story from a single card. Each card has a story to tell, and even that single card can offer much guidance and clarity. I’ve pulled The Lady, one of the major arcana cards of the Druidcraft Tarot deck.

For those of you who are not tarot students or readers, here’s a little tarot lesson. A tarot deck is comprised of 78 cards, 22 of which are major arcana and 56 minor arana. “Arcana” is the plural of “arcanum”, which is latin for “great mystery”; the tarot cards help us to unlock the mysteries within us, to bring light to the dark, and balance to chaos. The major arcana take us on a journey through life’s big shifts and transitions, while the minor arcana speak to us of everyday life. The Lady will tell her story of a life transition.

Take a look at the card. What do you see? What stirs within you? Look at the lushness and abundance surrounding The Lady; does it speak to you of the fertility of nature? The Lady herself looks ready to give birth; like nature, she is creating life. One foot rests on the solid ground while the other is dipped in the flowing stream – she is both grounded and open to the fluidity of life. What story is The Lady telling you? Perhaps one that speaks of birth and creation? Of abundance and beauty? How does The Lady’s story mirror your life? Are you about to create something new? Do you feel nurtured by the abundance in life? Can you be open to the ever-changing flow of life and still remain grounded?

Sit with The Lady, and let her tell her story to you. It may be your story, as well.

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The 5 Principles of Usui Reiki

July 20th, 2009

If you are an Usui Reiki practitioner, you are aware of Dr. Usui’s 5 Principles of Reiki. These principles form the foundation of Reiki, encouraging us to live a life of peace and harmony, thereby creating healing of the self and becoming clear and powerful conduits for Reiki energy. These principles do not apply only to Reiki practitioners; they can be followed by everyone.

There are many different translations of the 5 Principles, but all pretty much say the same thing:

Just for today, I will not be angry
Just for today, I will not be worried
Just for today, I will be grateful
Just for today, I will live my life honestly
Just for today, I will be kind to others

I encourage you to choose one of the Reiki Principles each day and live by it.

Today, don’t be angry. Words spoken in anger can never be taken back. Look at that which has caused anger, and find a calmer, more healing way to express your feelings.

Today, don’t be worried. Let go of that which you cannot control. Worry will not resolve the situation, it will only drain you of energy.

Today, be grateful. Life has its ups and downs, yet it is always a miracle. Showing gratitude for what you have allows more abundance to enter your life.

Today, live honestly. It is vital to your own well-being to be honest with yourself, to live from that place of truth within. Do the best you can do today, without a hidden agenda.

Today, be kind to others. Treat every living being, human and non-human alike, with respect and consideration.

If you are not yet a Reiki practitioner, you might want to think about taking the Reiki I class I’m offering on August 22!

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Query Letters Sent!

July 5th, 2009

For the past six months, I have been writing a workbook based on the series of intuitive tarot classes I teach. The workbook is just about completed; a few more chapters on bits and pieces, then back to the beginning to do some editing and polishing up.

As mine is a non-fiction book, my research has shown that I don’t have to have a completed manuscript before starting my search for an agent. And so, the search is on!

Obviously, I’m looking for an agent who specializes in, and is currently open to receiving, queries on non-fiction, self-help/spiritual/new-age books, and willing to take on a new author. I’ve found several, and this morning sent off two email queries.

What’s a “query”? Basically, a query letter is a one (or two at the most) page letter introducing me (the author) and my book. Most agents today require a query letter first; if that letter peaks their interest, they’ll ask for a proposal and sample chapters. Additionally, many agents will only accept email queries.

So, in one short email, I have to create enough interest in me and my book to get an agent, who receives hundreds of queries a week, to want to see more. No pressure there!

It will be several weeks before I’ll get a response….if either of these agents is interested. If they are not, I’ll hear nothing. In the meantime, I’ll continue my research on agents, and continue to send out queries.

Even knowing I may be rejected, it’s pretty exciting! I loved writing the workbook, I’m fascinated by the whole process of queries and submissions and proposals, and one way or another, my workbook WILL get published. Of that I’m sure.

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